Choosing Sides

A situation with Floyd during the 2017 Basketball Finals made me think of repentance.  Repentance means to turn from sin and turn to righteousness.  Floyd was sitting in his favorite stuffed chair, with snacks on the table, waiting for Game 5 of the NBA Read more

What is the Reason for the Season?

As a child, only once, did I question the honesty and integrity of my maternal Grandma. Even then, when I reflected on all the facts, Grandma was absolved. I remember the incident as clear as if it were this morning. I was playing in the front room (living room) and our German neighbor, Mrs. Raymond, came up on the enclosed Read more

Faith Means Action

The six weeks between June 22nd and July 30th 2013 were loaded with change, chaos, miracles, and a lot of stepping out in faith. For two years, Floyd and I had been hoping and praying that Yehovah would make a way for us to move from Alabama to be near Charlotte, NC. We wanted to be a part of the Read more

Pet Enticed into the Arms of a Neighbor?

In the fall of 1995, Floyd and I (before children) purchased a home on 5 acres in Ypsilanti, Michigan. The house needed cosmetic work: vinyl siding and repairs to the upper porch. Early one morning, a construction worker found two abandoned kittens on the road and brought them to me. I immediately took them in and gave them food Read more

Secrets in the Buffet Drawer

My father's mother, Grandma Berry, as we called her, was born in 1909. Grandma was divorced when my dad was about five and later married Gerald Berry. He was a kind, easy going man that worked at one of the Ford plants in Detroit. I remember his metal lunch pail. It was black on the outside and shiny metal gray on Read more

Who had the greater FEAR? Me or my children?

In every parent's life you come to the point of deciding when to take your children to funerals. Sometimes this decision is made for you if the deceased person is a close relative and the child needs to go in order to have closure. Sometimes the choice to take the child to the funeral is optional; the deceased is not Read more

Victor

Read Dormitory. When I lived there, a double room and meals were about $1,600/year. Now, the room alone is $5,853 for the year!

Read Dormitory. When I lived there, a double room and meals were about $1,600/year. Now, the room alone is $5,853 for the year!

During my freshman year in college, I lived in one of the female dorms at Indiana University on the Bloomington campus.

There were several good-looking guys on campus.   In the 60’s vernacular, Victor would have been described as “fine”.  He was about 5’8”, dark brown-skinned and had a very smooth vocal delivery.  You get the picture.  He was swoon material.

So, when I got a call from Victor asking me to go out on Friday night to see Agony and the Ecstasy at the movies, I near-bout died!!  I was so excited I could hardly think straight.   Of course, I told all my friends and roommates.

On Friday night, he was late.  I began to think that he had changed his mind about me and had stood me up.  The movie started at 7:30 PM.  No one had cars as freshman and the dorm was a 15 minute walk to the movies.  At 7:15 PM, I was really discouraged. Then at 7:17PM, he rang me from the dorm lobby to come on down.

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Shar during her Freshman Year at Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana.

I was exhilarated and redeemed from utter embarrassment.  I rushed to the elevator and went down one flight to the lobby of Read Dormitory.  I was floating on air and shaking with excitement.  In the short elevator ride,  I had practiced several poses, smiles and opening lines.

When the elevator door opened, I was beyond shock.

It was the wrong Victor!!  Where was the “fine” Victor?  This Victor was short, stocky and nothing to write home about.

I felt like I had been body slammed!

Luckily, I saw him before he saw me.  Well, I could have won an Academy Award for the quick change in my expression. I was friendly and polite to Victor.  After all, it wasn’t his mistake, it was mine.

He apologized for being late.  He said we would have to hurry or we’d miss the start of the movie.  He headed towards the door where you could get a taxi.  I thought, “Well he has class and some money.  We are going by taxi.”

When we got to the door, he opened it for me and said, “We’ve got to run so we won’t miss the start of the movie!”

I was so dumb-founded that I couldn’t think.   So I just ran along with him.

We made it to the movie on time.  The run wore him out.   So…. he snored through the 3 hour movie.  I couldn’t concentrate on the movie for thinking about my predicament.

YES, I laughed my head off about my mistake when I got back to the dorm.   And NO, I never went out with him again.

Shar

I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life’s experiences, bad and good, make you who you are. Erasing any of life’s experiences would be a great mistake. – Luis Miguel

Posted on by Shar in Dating, Mistakes 3 Comments

Mistakes

We all make mistakes.  Some folks learn from them. Some folks keep repeating them.  Steeley Dan had a record out when I was in college.  It was about a guy who committed a crime and was let go because the lawman wasn’t hanging that day, but the guy went “right back Jack, and did it again”. 

Now I have made a ton of mistakes in my life.  Some silly, some foolish, and some accidentally.

For instance, I was allowed to “receive company” when I was 16 with my parents in the house and my 14-year old sister present in the room.  I rarely invited a boy over to the house.

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Shar in the French Lab at Shortridge High School in Indianapolis, Indiana.

However, there was one boy who was friendly, nice and he liked me a lot. So I invited him to our house. My sister, Laurie, enjoyed being the chaperon. She had control in a way. I couldn’t tell her to leave the room or to stop making a nuisance of herself.

Marty Feldman!

Marty Feldman!

Now, Robert had bulging eyes like Marty Feldman and had false teeth. It was rare for a young person to have false teeth. I think he was in a sport’s accident. Well, Laurie wanted to see his teeth! And do you know, he took them out!!!

I was flabbergasted … outdone … fit to be tied!

I figured that was a one-time event, but the next time he came to visit, my sister asked to see the teeth again, AND HE TOOK THEM OUT!

Well, inviting him over was a mistake I didn’t make again.

Often we speak mistakes. We sometimes say things that are true, but they are received differently by others. In the 90’s, I worked for Wayne State University in Detroit.   After four years, I was burned out. I was bringing too much of the job-stress home. So much so that Floyd, my husband, asked me to quit the job. That was all I needed to hear. I resigned.

At my last staff meeting, I made the obligatory speech. At the end of the speech, one of the 30 or so staff attending asked what was I going to do now. I was so glad to be leaving, I said, “I’m going home and let my husband take care of me.”

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Shar circa Wayne State University days.

Denna, the Department Executive, stood up and said, “Shar, you just set the women’s liberation movement back 100 years!” 

Let me tell you about another type of mistake, a written communication mistake. I had a great-great uncle, Uncle Luke, who lived to be 108. He was born in Alabama, but lived most of his life in Lima, Ohio. When he was 99, he asked to come and live with my mother in Indianapolis. He was in good health and got around well.

My mom used to spend time with Uncle Luke and Aunt Lena in Lima when my mom was growing up in Detroit. Aunt Lena died in January 1949; just three months after I was born. My mom has often spoken about how sad she was that Aunt Lena never got to see me, Mama’s first child.

Well, Uncle Luke was more than a notion to live with. He and my Mom had worked out room and board arrangement. Uncle Luke insisted on having receipts! Who knew why? He had his own room, was well fed and his clothes were washed and ironed.

Uncle John 001

Uncle Luke in his 90’s

Uncle Luke also had a deep mistrust of banks. (Now on this, I can relate.) He had my mother help him open a saving account at the bank. He had $2,000. A few days later, he took it out the bank. Soon, my Mom convinced him to put the money in a safety deposit box. Then, Uncle Luke insisted on going to the bank everyday to check on his money. This was driving my Mom insane! They ended up putting his money under his mattress.

These were only a few of the “worriments” dealing with Uncle Luke.

Eventually, Uncle Luke decided to move back to Alabama and stay on family property. He decided to take the train home. He asked my Mom to send a telegram from the train depot to his great-nephew, Chester.

Meet Luke at the train station on Monday at 2 PM.  He is coming home.

Chester just happened to be the local undertaker. Well, as old as Uncle Luke was, what was Chester to think? Chester went to the train station with his hearse to pick up the casket. Chester was in total shock when Uncle Luke “walked off” the train!  

These incidents were harmless mistakes.  They are the kind you laugh at yourself about, but make a mental note not to do again.  

Shar

“Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.”
― L.M. MontgomeryAnne of Avonlea

Posted on by Shar in Family Life, Mistakes 3 Comments

The Saga of Trying to Have Children–Part 1 of 3

Floyd and I were married when we both were age 41 in 1989. Neither one of us had children. I had never been pregnant. Father’s Day, June 1990, we decided to start a family. Actually to enlarge our family. Husband and wife are family.

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Our wedding day, December 24, 1989 in Detroit, Michigan.

After many months of trying with no results, we decided to go for a professional medical consultation. We already had layperson medical advice from my mother, “Your eggs are too old!”.

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Mom in her early twenties.

 The fertility doctor examined both of us, ran tests and determined that I had a blocked fallopian tube and Floyd’s “little men were mostly sunning on the beach instead of swimming in the ocean”. Now with that explanation, I had flashbacks of my mom’s terminology.

 So, I had my tube blown out. These were the terms the professionals were using!

 It was so painful. I asked the nurse, “Is childbirth worst than this?” When she said, “Oh, yeah!!”, I was nearly ready to give up the pursuit of children.

 After all the tests, the doctor told us that I could get pregnant without any medical interventions. He suggested I take my temperature to know when ovulation occurs in order to maximize our efforts.

Sure enough, several months later, I became pregnant.

Before I became aware of this blessed news, I had scheduled a trip from Detroit to San Jose, CA to see my sister. We had planned to go to San Francisco shopping. With this amazing news, I really wanted to spend time with my sister, Laurie, and celebrate.

READ PART TWO HERE!

Posted on by Shar in Children, Marriage 5 Comments